Believing as Ourselves By J Lynn Jones (Beltsville, MD: Amana Publications, 2002. I 60 pages.)

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Huda Khattab

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Abstract

This book represents the "female" side of a new genre in Islamic publishing.
Jones, a white American convert, educated, well-read, and passionate about
her native tongue and its literature, writes of her experiences as a female
convert to Islam and, as the saying goes, ''tells it like it is." Like Jeffrey
Lang, who provides the foreword, the author puts into words the confusion,
hurt, bewilderment, and anguish that many converts feel after they come
down from the giddy heights of"saying their shahadah," - experiences that
may all but extinguish the initial spark of excitement and enthusiasm.
The book traces Jones' progress from initial conversion and community
involvement, to "burn-out'' and withdrawal, and on to her recovery
from depression and marital difficulties. In a pattern familiar to many converts,
the initial spiritual delight - even euphoria - is soon swamped by
layer upon layer of community-induced confusion, rebuffs, snubs, dogmatism,
and even racism. She speaks with reference to her interaction with
the Arab community, but the pattern will be familiar to many of those who
are either converts to Islam and/or partners in mixed marriages.
Jones introduces the Muslim community to the idea of "personal
authenticity" and suggests that converts may suffer greatly when they
lose their own ethnic or cultural identity in the effort to become more like
the born-Muslim community in which they find themselves. While this is
an interesting idea, a brief search of such terms via my favorite web
search engine led to a host of gay and lesbian sites. Not knowing the pre cise
origin of the notion of "personal authenticity," it wou Id appear to be
a matter that should be handled with caution.
The author frankly discusses depression, instead of accepting its being
swept under the carpet and dismissed as "madness" or the product of weak
faith ... and, therefore, one's own fault. This is another area that deserves the
Muslim community's further attention, and in which Jones blazes a longoverdue
trail. In addition to the spiritual approach, she provides some practical
tools for dealing with it, such as journaling and physical exercise. This
brings us back to the issue pertaining to the loss of identity and personal
authenticity, as she asks: How can you come to prayer without your heart?
Jones also touches upon women's issues. The chapter on "The
American Harlot," which makes for painful reading, highlights the ...

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